Mom: I packed you a protein shake.
Eldest: Uh, I don't really like protein shakes.
What? Are you joking?
Well, it's only because of the way they taste.
That's literally the whole point of food.
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Engineer: There's a fire in the basement!!!
Mom: (frantically runs down the stairs while child starts chuckling.)
"Just kidding!"
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Engineer: Mom, if a bad guy ever steals you, you can call me on the phone and I will come rescue you!
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Anonymous: We put underwear on our fan and turned the fan on and they flew off!!! (Hysterical laughter ensues.)
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